Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Na-inlove Ka Na Ba Sa Taong Hindi In Love Sa’yo?




“Paano pag na inlove ka sa taong hindi naman inlove sayo?”

Naku po. Isa sa mga tanong na noon pa man hirap na hirap na ko sagutin. Iba iba kasi ang tao eh. Pero naniniwala ako na lahat tayo, at some point, mararanasan ‘to. May iba na hindi na hinahayaan lumalim yung feelings nila kasi alam na nilang waley, pero may iba na sadyang hindi mapigilan kaya ang ending… nasasaktan.

Opinyon ko lang ‘to ha? I’m not claiming to know better about these things but this is my take.
Kung ibabase ko sa sarili kong experience, iba kasi ako. When I start to like someone, ginegauge ko kung “crush” lang ba o may potential. Kung crush lang, it doesn’t worry me kasi ang crush, para sa akin, is just admiration. Most of the time pag nagkakacrush ako nawawala din agad. Ganun yata talaga ka-iksi ang attention span ko. But when I see a potential, proseso yan. Hindi ako basta basta bumibigay. Hindi naman dahil segurista ako o ano pero I don’t really like wasting my time so if I see that it will just get me nowhere, ako na nagkukusang gumawa ng paraan so my feelings would mellow. I self-talk. A lot. I don’t know if it works on other people but it works for me.

Other options…

Option 1: Tell him how you feel.

This is a gamble, my dear friend.

Advantage: Nasabi mo feelings mo. Wala kang what if’s. Plus… who knows, he might feel the same way about you.

Disadvantage: If the person doesn’t feel the same way, hoooo! Medyo masakit yun. But be proud of yourself dahil aside sa nagpakatotoo ka, you’re a warrior! Admitting your true feelings for someone is never a bad thing. Depende lang yan sa taong gagawa, kung ano inaasahan mo, and how you will react after. If you are friends with this person, yes, there’s a risk of you losing him and that’s one thing that you really have to think about. Ano ba mas importante sayo? Yung masabi mo feelings mo o ma-save yung pagkakaibigan niyo? Whatever your decision is at kung itutuloy mo pa rin sabihin, wag mo pagsisihan kasi as much as may down side siya, I’m sure may matututunan ka.

Option 2: Don’t tell him.

In other words, kimkimin mo nalang.

Advantage: Safe at hindi ka masasaktan.

Disadvantage: Those thoughts of “what if ganito, what if ganyan?” meeeehn… it kills, but not literally. You can talk yourself out of it though lalo na pag hindi pa naman sobrang lalim ng nararamdaman mo. Pero pag malalim na……

Loving someone is like taking care of a plant. For it to grow, you have to water it constantly. Pag hindi ninurture, tumagal man buhay niyan, malalanta pa rin. And unrequited love? When you don’t get anything in return? Trust me, it will die naturally kasi tao tayo. At ang tao, at some point, mangangailangan ng pagmamahal. Yung hindi lang ikaw ang nagbibigay. Yung may matatanggap ka din kahit papano. Wag natin isali ang unconditional love dito kasi ginagamit yan sa ibang context. Pag mahal mo ang isang tao at hindi ka niya mahal, hindi ko sinusuggest na maghintay ka na mahalin ka din niya one day kasi no one deserves that. Kung totoong para kayo sa isa’t isa, dapat swak. Kaya nga diba swerte pag mahal ka ng taong mahal mo? Kasi hindi yan laging nangyayari. At kung dumating yung panahon na matapat ka sa taong hindi kayang suklian yung ibibigay mo, wag ka magalit sakanya dahil sigurado ako, ayaw niya din makasakit. (Unless nalang pa-fall yan at paasa, ibang usapan naman yun.) Wag mo din sisihin ang sarili mo kasi nagmamahal ka lang naman. But don’t torture yourself. I know mahirap yan that you have so much love in your heart but the one you want to give it to is not willing to receive it pero maniwala ka, ireserba mo lang yan kasi may darating na maibabalik sayo kung anuman ang ibibigay mo.

Sabi nila when you love someone, you shouldn’t expect anything in return. End of sentence. Wala namang karugtong na “…but wait for him because maybe in time, he will love you back.” So in this situation, please… don’t break your own heart.


Carpe diem!

My Success Story





This blog has been long overdue. Sa sobrang dami ng nangyayari sakin lately (all good things), I somehow found it hard to wrap everything around my head. But then I really feel the need to write and share about it… because He deserves this.

Most of my readers would have noticed by now how vocal I am about my faith. It just flows. I can’t stop myself from talking about it dahil sabi nga nila, kung ano ang preoccupation ng utak mo, yun ang madalas na lalabas sa bibig mo. Many people ask me how I came to this. Na kaya daw ba ako blessed kasi madasalin ako. Let me tell you a little bit of my story. Disclaimer na din before I proceed. I would like to say that this blog is for everyone dahil ang Panginoon, walang pinipili. But if you’re looking for “hugot” posts, feel free to navigate on my blog roll. But please, I am encouraging you to give it a few minutes and read on.

Bata palang ako ambisyosa na ‘ko. Aminado ako diyan. I was raised by my parents in an environment na ang paniniwala ko magaling ako, na lahat kaya ko, na malayo ang mararating ko basta pagsikapan ko lang. Napakarami kong gustong gawin. Pero gaya ng maraming bata, I didn’t fully understand “faith”, “God”, “blessings”, and the role that He plays in my life. My mom is a very spiritual person. Siguro yung pagiging madasalin sakanya ko talaga nakuha pero yung pagdadasal ko noon, ginagawa ko kasi kailangan. Kasi sinanay ako. Magrerecite lang ng Our Father o kaya ng Hail Mary. Magsisimba tuwing Linggo. Magdadasal ng rosary. Akala ko yun lang sapat na.

Habang tumatanda ako, I have achieved things and I thank God, of course. Pero part nun, dahil sa sobrang bilib ko sa sarili ko, naniwala ako na kagagawan ko kung bakit ko narating yung mga naabot ko. I don’t know if it was pride o sadyang I just didn’t know better.

How it all started… nung naranasan kong mawala lahat sakin. Na yung mga tao at bagay na sobrang vinalue ko, I lost all of it one by one. Ang taas ng binagsakan ko. Bonggang lagapak. 2013 - yun na yung masasabi kong worst year ever but in retrospect, I realized that it was one of the best. Why? Kasi doon ko Siya totoong nakilala. Yung pagkilala na nagkusa ka, hindi pinilit, hindi tinuro.  Some people realize God’s worth without going through flames. But though He had to allow me to get burned so bad just to clear my view of WHO really matters, I wouldn’t have it any other way because whenever I speak of my journey, I appreciate Him more because this is how He slowly purified my heart. Dumating ako sa panahon na wala na akong makapitan, na para bang ibinigay ko yung sarili ko sa mga maling tao, pakiramdam ko ubos na ubos ako, tipong hindi ko alam papano ako mabubuo ulit. Wala kang makausap kasi pakiramdam mo walang makakaintindi and at the same time you don’t want to be a burden to other people. Ang hirap, sobra. Yung ayaw mong mag-isa pero kahit napapalibutan ka ng maraming tao, nanunuot sa kaloob-looban mo….. may kulang. That’s when I began talking to Him. Sa pagpiga Niya sa puso ko, kahit ang sakit sakit, kahit pagdaanan ko yun ng paulit ulit, okay lang as long as Siya ulit ang kasama ko.

The things that I have achieved this year, yung pagkapublish ng libro ko at yung maraming opportunities pa na dumating na hindi ko na halos mabilang, habangbuhay ko ipagpapasalamat sa Kanya. Pero ang totoong success story ko ay hindi yung unti unting natutupad yung mga pangarap ko. Akala ko nung una yun na yun, pero hindi pala because my real success is Him. This relationship that I have with Him now. Every night I pray about my fear that when all my dreams come true baka maligaw nanaman ako, baka makalimutan ko Siya. Pero kabaliktaran yung nangyari. The more I achieve things, the more I become closer to Him. The more I fulfill the dreams that He planted in my heart, the more that I get to know Him.

Hindi ako blessed dahil madasalin ako. God is not a genie na papapasukin mo sa buhay mo for your own satisfaction. Na hihiling ka lang at kailangan Niya i-grant lahat. Na sasabihin mo lang yung gusto mo at dapat sundin na Niya. It’s the other way around. Kaya nga Higher Power diba? Because He is greater than you. He should be the one in charge. We pray not for our wants to be fulfilled but for His plans for you to prosper. To be honest, the things that I am pursuing now, I never thought gagawin ko. It all happened because when you pray, you don’t just talk. Ultimately, you have to listen. And the day I decided to fully submit my life to Him, na Siya na ang bahala, na isusuko ko na lahat ng pagdedesisyon sa Kanya, that’s when everything slowly became clear to me. That He has a purpose for each one of us. Na yun ang gusto Niyang gawin natin because that’s where we will flourish. Ilang beses ako lumihis sa mga bagay na gusto Niya dahil ang gusto kong sundin yung sarili ko and it got me nowhere. I always end up empty and miserable. And I don’t want that kind of life anymore.

I’m not trying to convince you of anything. I’m just telling you about His greatness because such an amazing God deserves it. I cry everytime I think about how He fixed me. How He redirected me to the path na Siya ang kasama ko. Sa lugar na masaktan man ako pero may sasalo sakin.  Umiyak man ako pero may dadamay at papahid ng mga luha ko. I have many more years to live, I believe. And if so, I will lose a few more people but that’s okay because I know He will remove them so I could move on to better things. I will lose a few more battles but that’s okay because I know practice lang yun so I’ll be ready for greater blessings to come. Kung may natutunan man ako sa lahat ng ‘to… isa lang. TIWALA. Tiwala sa mga plano Niya. Tiwala sa pagmamahal Niya. Na kahit gulong gulo ka na, piliin mo pa rin Siya. Na kahit nasasaktan ka na, piliin mo pa rin maniwala na mahal na mahal ka Niya.

You create and nurture a relationship with God because you want to, not because you feel that you will be punished if you don’t. You don’t have to push yourself into doing it, but I believe na maraming pagkakataon na kakalabitin ka Niya. Pakiusap ko lang sayo, lingunin mo Siya. Remember when you’re in love? Ngitian ka lang niya, isang salita lang galing sakanya buo na araw mo. God is much like that. He doesn’t need a long conversation with you everyday. Just a good morning, a good night, or even a simple “hi” will do. Ganun kababaw ang kaligayahan Niya pagdating sayo kasi ganun ka Niya kamahal. Wag mo piliting hanapin yung taong hindi mananakit sayo kasi meron na, naghihintay lang na mapansin mo. And one day, when you find it in your heart to willingly submit yourself to Him, I promise you, He will blow your mind with his love dahil lahat ng kulang sayo, Siya lang ang magpupuno, sobra sobra pa. Ituring mo Siya na parang bf o gf mo. Talk to Him. Spend time with Him. Get to know Him. Love Him. And He will give you double, if not triple, of that. The things you need in your life, He will provide without you even asking for it. The dreams you want to fulfill, He will help you achieve it so you could be a blessing to other people too. He will surprise you everyday with things na akala mo imposible pero lahat ng yun ibibigay Niya dahil mahal ka Niya. Kaya sino may sabing sayong sawi ka at walang lovelife? Kung tutuusin ikaw ang pinakaswerte… dahil siya ang natatanging pag-ibig na hinding hindi makikipagbreak sayo. :)

To You, my dear Lord, maraming maraming salamat. Umaapaw ang puso ko ngayon ng pagmamahal dahil hindi ka nagtipid nung nagpa-refill ako ;) Now I am more capable of loving. Ang sarap ipamigay sa lahat ng nakakasalamuha ko. Ang gaan i-share kasi alam ko hindi ‘to mauubos dahil galing ‘to sa Iyo. Dalangin ko na kung sinuman ang makabasa nito, sana mas tumibay ang paniniwala at pagmamahal sa Iyo because if there’s any entity na deserving mahalin ng buong buo, it’s You.

To God be the glory.