What Breakups Teach You

Photo from pixshark.com

One friend asked me…

“Sa lahat ng breakups mo, ano natutunan mo?”

I wasn’t able to answer quickly. I just said “Give me time, tanungin mo ko ulit next time promise by then may sagot na ko.” So I contemplated for a whole night.

So here it is…

I learned na kahit ikaw pa ang pinakamatinong tao sa mundo, it won’t guarantee that the people around you will treat you the same. It doesn’t necessarily mean na masama silang tao, or that you are better than them. Sometimes people are just, I don’t know…people? They may be that way dahil sa upbringing, or meron silang pinagdadaanan na hindi mo alam, or mali ka lang talaga ng pagkakakilala sakanila, o sadyang ganun lang talaga sila. Kung ano pa man, the thing is hindi mo kailangan ianalyze and don’t let them change how you see the world.

Kailangan mo lang tanggapin na hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon makukuha mo yung klase ng pagtrato na inaasahan mo. Either you accept it and go along with it, or shun them and just walk away for your sanity’s sake.

I learned that forgiveness is always an option. Gusto ko magmura, gusto ko magalit, gusto ko magwala, the thing is hindi ko magawa. I woke up one day and just decided that I don’t want to feel that way anymore. I don’t want to take care of this certain darkness kasi natatakot ako that it might swallow my heart whole and the next thing I know hindi na ko marunong magmahal. Solution? Bitter pill to swallow pero isa lang… magpatawad. Forgive the person who crushed your heart and forgive yourself too. Ito yung pinakamahirap na kailangan kong gawin kasi sa totoo lang it’s easier to hate someone, pero yung magtanim ng sama ng loob… I know deep down that I’m not that kind of person and I won’t let painful incidents taint my character.

I learned na kahit gaano ka pa masaktan, the people around you who remained and made you feel valuable are more than enough to heal you. Na may mga taong dumating, dadating, at hindi mawawala sa buhay mo kasi tanggap nila at mahal nila lahat lahat sayo. I’m talking about your family and your friends. Those people na minsan naooverlook mo pero in your lowest point sila pa yung mga taong matitira't sasalo sayo.

I learned na kahit magmahal ka ng sobra sobra hindi ibig sabihin nun the person will love you back. Or they might but not in the way you expect them to. Not the same level of loyalty. Not the same degree of passion. But it’s not their fault. Whoever said that LOVE is easy? At sino din bang nagsabi na pagnagmahal ka hindi ka masasaktan? Iba ibang paraan ng pananakit, intentional o hindi, bottomline is pag nagmahal ka imposibleng hindi ka iiyak.

I learned na pag niloko ka, sinaktan o iniwan hindi ibig sabihin may mali sayo. It has a lot to do with who they are. Or minsan, they are the ones who changed everything for you but you are not the one who changed everything for them. Again, not your fault. Not theirs either. 99% of your relationships will fail. So the day na nagsimula kang pumasok sa relasyon dapat alam mo na yun. And that’s the beauty of life and love, the search for that 1%, kung sino man siya. Lucky are those who find theirs ng maaga. For some na hindi, you don’t have to find them. Ni hindi mo kailangan maghintay because whether you like it or not, your “the one” will happen. And your 1%? This time you are that person who will change everything for them and the day you realize na siya na yung tamang tao para sayo, it will all be clear na lahat ng natutunan mo pala, natutunan mo dahil dadating siya.

So am I happy? I would say hopeful. :)

Carpe diem!

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