I didn’t have much time to wrap up my year the way I did
before. Too much happened during Christmas season (family stuff mostly) and the
only time that I was able to stop and reflect was last night, an hour before
the clock hit 12.
Marami akong sinabi sa sarili ko before 2015 ended and I was
so hopeful about so many things in 2016 but most of it didn’t happen. I don’t
know why but I didn’t dwell on it anymore kasi in retrospect, mas malaki pa ang
nakuha ko. 2016, I must say, was the year that I got to know God a little
better and though I know that I still have a long way to go, the things that I learned
this year greatly strengthened my faith in Him and in all things that are good.
There were unanswered prayers but I feel as if He took the year to gear me up
for something great this 2017. Excited? YES! VERY!
Today is the first day of the year at kung totoo ang
sinasabi ng iba na kung ano ang ginawa mo sa unang araw ng taon, most likely
yun ang gagawin mo the whole year, then I must have started it right. I’m so
glad that I have spent this day doing three of the things that I really love
doing – praying, watching movies and writing. I hope I could do more of this
ngayong 2017.
For some time, I thought I unintentionally put out the fire (my longest
writer’s block ever) but today, I found myself writing for 4 hours straight. It’s
still here. Yung dating pakiramdam, yung trance-like experience when I write my
thoughts, walang nagbago. The short hiatus from writing gave way for me to
discover new things about myself and the things that I want. It gave me a
chance to chase after my other dreams but just like before… pagsusulat ang binabalik-balikan
ko. So this year, the fire right here in my heart will definitely reignite. I even think it’s going to be bigger than before.
Change is coming? Actually change is always coming. I guess
some people just aren’t ready to welcome it. For me though, I’m embracing it
this year. Hindi ko kakalimutan ang mga nangyari sa’kin last year. Wala akong
galit sa 2016 at sa ibang taon pa na lumipas. I want to make peace with all my
mistakes, shortcomings, bad decisions and stubbornness and just start this year
dropping all the regrets and whatnot. This year, I want to finally call myself
an adult and face everything head on. With a little room for fear, yes, but
with God in my heart, I will carry on anyway. I will continue to love the
people around me and try my best to show them a glimpse of “heaven” so they would
crave for it and eventually seek the Big Guy up there because He's the only One who could give more.
We have 350 plus plus days ahead and this is only Day 1. Ready
ka na? Tara!
Carpe diem!
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