On One Sided Relationships

One reader sent me a message on FB asking my opinion about burning bridges. She has this friend who has been treating her differently na parang “pinakikisamahan” lang siya and she doesn’t know kung iiwasan ba niya or hindi. I won’t get into details nalang sa kwento niya kasi baka reader din yung taong involved. Hehe! I don’t want to be caught in the middle. But anyway, here’s my take about burning bridges.

I live by this rule (This only applies to me, ewan ko sa iba, disclaimer lang.):

Wag pilitin ang taong ayaw.

Nung kabataan ko hindi ko masyado iniintindi yan kasi para sakin, kung ano gusto ko, yun na yun. If I want to keep a person, I’ll do everything just to make that person stay. I’m speaking about all types of relationships. Basta pag gusto ko, gusto ko. Wala akong konsepto ng “letting go”. But eventually narealize ko na nakakastress pala. Na ako lang ang naaapektuhan, ako lang nasasaktan, ako lang ang nanliliit.

I had friendships like this too. Even isang past relationship. In other words… ONE SIDED.

Yung feeling na parang ikaw lang ang interesado, ikaw lang ang lumalapit, ikaw lang ang nageeffort… yun nga yun… IKAW LANG. The other person seems to not appreciate you dahil hindi ka naman talaga nila gusto as a person, naoutgrow ka na nila or… at ito ang pinakamadalas… natetake for granted ka kasi alam nilang hindi ka naman mawawala.

Aminado ako, hindi na ko masyadong bata. So in the past years, I have learned to let go of one-sided relationships. I’m not saying na dapat may napapala ka sakanila but a real relationship, a genuine friendship, for it to grow the people involved should nurture it. Hindi pwedeng isa lang. It has nothing to do with reaping benefits. It’s more like making the other person feel that you want him/her in your life too.

Sa sitwasyon ni Ms. Reader, nangyari na sakin yan before. Sa totoo lang yun ang pinakaayaw kong pakiramdam. Yung isinisiksik ko sarili ko sa taong ayaw sakin. Hindi madaling baguhin ang pakikisama sa isang tao lalo na if you value that person pero mas masayang mag-stay sa isang relationship or friendship na hindi “pilit”. Walang mali sayo, wala ring mali sakanila. Sadyang may mga tao lang talagang hindi swak. Hindi mo sila kailangan dedmahin na tipong wag totally pansinin kasi pag ganun, gagawin mo siya out of resentment because you were rejected. Wag ka umiwas kasi ang taong umiiwas, kinakausap ka na nga dededmahin mo pa. Mas ok siguro kung wag mo lang sila gawing priority. If they talk to you, be polite enough to reply. If they don’t talk to you, eh di ok. No harm done. Wag ka magalit. Tanggapin mo lang na hindi ka nila priority kaya para quits, wag mo din sila iprioritize. :)

Napakaiski ng buhay. Seryoso. Akala lang natin mahaba. And with that thought, sayang ang oras sa mga taong hindi ka naman pinapahalagahan. Why not focus on those who stayed with you? Those people who really get out of their way just to make you feel na importante ka sakanila? They are the ones who deserve your love, your attention, and your time. Kasi kung may mga taong ganyan sayo na dinededma mo, kung ano nararamdaman mo sa taong di pumapansin sayo, yun din ang nararamdaman nila. Alam mo na yung feeling, wag mo na iparamdam sa iba. Think about it. :)

Carpe diem!

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