Bakit Ka Nga Ba Na-in Love Sa Maling Tao?

I was reading private messages on my Facebook page the other day and there’s this guy who asked me:

Bakit lagi ako napupunta sa maling tao at maling pag-ibig?

My reaction: Ay… ang bigat. :p

Hindi ko alam kung paano sasagutin so it took me a few days kasi kailangan pag-isipan. I promised him that I will write something about it so… here it is.

Wow. I wish I knew the answer. Really. Kasi kung alam ko yung sagot, ang saya saya nun. We could all dodge the Brokenheart Avenue and cut the trip short to Forever Lane. But the thing is, minsan kailangan mo maranasan kung ano ang mali para malaman mo at mas maappreciate kung ano yung tama. Lucky are those people who find their true love early but I’m pretty sure hindi rin yun perfect. In their journey to finding “forever” in each other, sigurado yun na ang dami din nilang pinagdaanan. But most of us, we had to go through a series of failed relationships and love the wrong people before we finally meet the “right one”.

I assume may pinagdadaanan ka kaya mo naitanong yan sakin and I really wish I can say something to make you feel better but I guess that’s one thing na nagpapaganda ng buhay. Yung magkaron tayo ng mga experiences na kailangan i-endure so we could grow as a person and make us better.

I don’t know if this applies to other people but I will take my experience for an example. Tao lang ako, disclaimer ha. Lahat naman tayo pag nasaktan or nadisappoint, we tend to see things negatively so aaminin ko na initially, lalo na pag fresh pa yung heartbreak, feeling mo mali yung nangyari. Mali yung tao. Mali yung naramdaman mo. Mali lahat. Pero ngayon kasi when I think about all my failed relationships, walang bitterness. Hindi mo mababago yung nangyari. May mga part na mapapailing ka nalang kasi maaalala mo na nasaktan ka pala but those experiences, yun yung dahilan why I am the way I am now and I love myself now more than ever. I love all my scars because they remind me so much of how genuinely my heart can love and how far I have gone to heal. So if you are going through something painful now, embrace the feeling because it won’t last, I promise. It may take you a long time but believe me, you will love yourself more after that.

Some people who go through heartbreaking moments tend to blame everything on “love” so uunahan ko na kayo. Love does not suck. What people do with it does. May iba na tumatanggap lang, hindi nagbibigay. May iba naman na nagbibigay lang pero hindi naman pala handang tumanggap. Some people don’t know what to do with it so they ignore how they feel. May iba na inaalagaan. They make it grow. They share it. Bawat tao, bawat klase ng pagmamahal, iba iba. But I never doubted, not even for a second, that it’s real. That “true love” or “forever” or whatever people want to call it, yes my dear friend, it exists. I haven’t dated in a long time but I fall in love every single day. I find reasons to believe in it. I see it with my dog when he licks my face in the morning. I see it with my brother and his girlfriend when they laugh at each other’s corny jokes. I see it with my parents who hold hands when they watch TV. I see it with lolos and lolas who walk beside each other in malls. I felt it with my exes who I loved immensely and who I believe at some point loved me back sincerely. I see it in mothers who look at their child as if they are the most beautiful thing in the world. I see it with my friends who bug me every now and then because they miss me. And best of all, I feel it whenever I put my hands together in prayer. You see it everywhere. It may have failed you at one point in your life but that doesn’t mean na hindi yun totoo. True love exists so don’t let pain make you believe otherwise. Sometimes I wish I could let others see life and love the way I see it because despite all the awful things around us, it is so damn beautiful.

Pag nagmahal ka, magmahal ka lang. Pag binalik sayo, pag sinuklian ka ng tama, be grateful and take good care of it. Kung hindi naman, tanggapin at magpatawad dahil ang puso mo, pag busilak, pag totoo, gagawa ng paraan ang langit para ibalik yan sayo. :)

Carpe diem!

Facebook: www.facebook.com/abciddy
Twitter: @abciddy
Instagram: abciddy
Wattpad: www.wattpad.com/Abciddy

A Letter to My Readers

This letter is actually long overdue. I was supposed to write this as a part of my New Year ritual but I got a bit preoccupied with so many things the past few weeks. Still writing and posting it now because I really want my message to come across kaya medyo bear with the drama parts nalang :p

First of all, I would like to say THANK YOU to everyone na naging bahagi ng writing journey ko. It has been awesome since Project Ex at talagang nakakamiss kayong kakulitan. Thank you for being my source of strength and motivation. Marami sa inyo laging sinasabi that I have inspired you in some way pero gusto kong malaman niyo na kayo din ang inspirasyon ko why I do the things that I do. Thank you for giving me so many reasons to keep this fire in my heart burning. I can’t thank you guys enough for the love and support.

To all the admins of Abciddinians (Dezza and Jenny), Team ABCD (Thet, Mommy Faith, Levi and Vi-anne), WeLoveAbciddy and sa mga OP’s ng mga social media accounts ng mga characters sa mga kwento ko, you guys amaze me. Really. The dedication and the time that you are giving just to show your support to me, ibang klase kayo. Sa lahat ng bumili ng libro ko, sa mga nagbasa at patuloy na nag-iiwan ng feedback sa mga pinopost ko sa Wattpad, sa lahat ng nagbibigay ng suggestions at requests, sa lahat ng love messages and tweets that you guys send me, sa appreciation, sa mga ngiti at hello at mga personal letters na natanggap ko sa mga booksigning events… MARAMING MARAMING SALAMAT. You guys have no idea how grateful I am to God for giving me each one of you. I hope you guys know that I cherish this small family of ours and I will continue to share stories hanggat humihinga ako.

Sa mga nagtatanong what’s going to happen next with Abciddy, naku. Mahirap magupdate ng mga ganap ko sa ngayon because I’m working on so many things. If you have been reading my blogs and social media posts, I’m sure you guys know my ultimate dream and I have been working on it for years but I made a conscious decision that I’ll do it full blast this 2016. I have dropped a few activities so I could focus on writing so expect several updates here and there starting this month of February.

Kung ako ang tatanungin, I am already living the dream. Hindi pa man dumadating yung major break na hinihintay at pinagdadasal ko but having published a physical book (Thank you so much PSICOM) and 5 stories in Wattpad, plus having awesome readers like you guys who I consider my friends too, this is way more than I have imagined. Sa mga masusulat ko pa in the future both books or movies (hopefully, Godwilling), sa passion na meron ako ngayon, all of it I offer first to the Lord and of course, sa inyong lahat who have walked with me on this wonderful journey.

About the get-together, yes. Magkakaron po this year. It was hard to plan it in 2015 but whatever happens, we will make it happen this year kasi excited na ko talaga na makabonding kayong lahat. Hopefully, this year din, if time and budget will permit, I really want to push yung free writing workshop as a form of giving back na rin to the writing community. I’m also thinking of one charity event din that will involve volunteer work from my readers who would like to take part. Help me pray na maachieve natin lahat yan this year.

To end this open letter, I would like to encourage you guys to make the most out of 2016 because this year will only come once. Hindi na maibabalik. There’s always something special in turning a new leaf so take this as an opportunity to start fresh.

Sa mga students, study hard. I know cliché na pakinggan pero totoo, pag labas niyo sa real world mamimiss niyo ng sobra ang pagiging estudyante because the battle field when you leave school is a lot tougher and you will need to carry as much good memories as you can to keep you going. Work on your future now. Get good grades, do well in school, enjoy the company of your friends, and ito, totoo ‘to, get to know your teachers and professors because you will benefit from their guidance and wisdom.

Sa mga nagtatrabaho na, kahit na ano pa ang edad niyo, pursue whatever it is that God wants for you. Share your blessings and always value kindness and generosity because trust me, it will go a long way. Kung may pinagdadaanan ka, sa trabaho man yan o lovelife o kung ano pa mang aspeto ng buhay, isa lang ang weapon mo to survive – PRAYER. Never forget that.

Sa lahat ng mga nangangarap, God knows your heart. Gaya ng sinabi ko sa isa kong tweet… BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU PRAY FOR. Whatever dreams you have, work for it. Sabi nga nila “The more seeds you plant, the more chances to harvest.” Walang sukuan kahit mahirap… dapa, tayo, lakad… tuloy lang.

Tonight and always, I will pray for your heart and your dreams. God bless you guys! :)

Carpe diem!

Facebook: www.facebook.com/abciddy

Twitter: @abciddy

Instagram: abciddy

Wattpad: www.wattpad.com/Abciddy

Ayoko ng "DUHAT"

Time check: 1AM

Sa pagkaoverwhelm ko, hindi ko magawang matulog so I thought of writing about it not just to release this certain energy but also to share His Word.

Let me tell you about this weird dream I had last night. Bumili daw ako ng sinigang na hipon and when I got home, tinapon ko daw sa drain pero napahinto ako nung napansin ko na dalawang hipon nalang yung natitira (oo, nabilang ko siya). Takang taka ako kung bakit ko siya tinapon. Binili ko nga eh, so bakit ko itatapon? Sunday afternoon, I told my brother about this dream and I was amazed by his interpretation. Sabi niya “baka ibig sabihin nun may opportunity na dumating o dadating pa lang na palalampasin mo tapos manghihinayang ka kung kailan wala na”. Sa current situation ko, it really made sense.

Hours after that conversation, we attended the service in Katipunan, second Sunday na sinubukan ko sa Victory. Again, Pastor Erwin blew me away. Through his preaching, I felt that God spoke to me at nasagot lahat ng agam-agam ko. He talked about declaring your dreams, your prayers, your deepest desires. So what’s with the “DUHAT” in my title and the photo posted along with this entry? 

Pastor Erwin compared opportunities in life to grapes and duhat. The great and the so-so. The best and the “pwede na”. He said God is giving you all the best that He could offer but it will always be your choice if you will settle for a “duhat” career, a “duhat” love life, or a “duhat” spiritual life all because you are scared – scared to lose, scared to fail, scared to kung ano ano pa. Some people don’t even try to seek for the best. They keep on making excuses and justify it by telling themselves “pwede na ‘to, okay na ‘to”.

Narealize ko today… hindi ito ang gusto Niya para sa atin. That we need to have bigger dreams and achieve it with bigger faith. Be brave enough to claim for the things that you think you deserve. It has nothing to do with ego o pagyayabang. It’s more about having audacious faith that whatever happens, God will back you up. If He knows that you have pure intentions and that you will use it to glorify Him, ngayon pa lang, CLAIM IT. Claim it because it’s yours. Be bold enough to think about your dreams and say “Because God is with me, THIS IS MINE”. Pangarapin mo yung imposible at samahan mo ng pananampalataya, that kind of faith that can move mountains. That kind of faith na kahit mapahiya ka dahil may posibilidad na hindi mangyari, idedeclare mo pa rin at ikeclaim na iyo kasi alam mong hindi ka Niya pababayaan. 

About the photo…

Kinunan ko siya nung January 1 when I watched a movie and I had it edited as soon as I got home. Tinititigan ko siya every morning and I whisper a short prayer… “Lord, one day diba?” Hindi lahat ng tao alam ‘to at ayaw ko siya ipaalam sa totoo lang kasi nahihiya ako. 

Maiksing backstory muna…

When I was young, every after class and during weekends nanonood ako ng VHS tapes. Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang pelikula na ang napanood ko at kahit yung mga classic na mga pelikula pinapatulan ko. Nagsimula sa pagiging pastime but my fascination grew into something deep and yun na siguro yun – PASSION. Nasa Grade 2 pa lang ako pinangarap ko na makagawa ng pelikula. I don’t know if my mom remembers pero may one time noon na nagmaktol ako ng sobra. I was in Grade 6 then. Kinukulit ko siya kasi gusto ko talaga ng director’s chair. Saan naman siya hahanap nun para iregalo sa anak niyang what… 12 years old? :p  Una kong pinangarap makapagsulat ng pelikula bago ko pa nadiskubre na gusto kong makapagsulat ng libro.

Yan. Yan yung secret dream ko. Hindi ko madeclare, hindi ko maclaim kasi ang nasa isip ko lagi “pag hindi nagkatotoo mapapahiya lang ako. Hindi lang sa ibang tao, pinaka-higit sa sarili ko.” And if that happens, hindi ko alam kung mate-take ko. You know that feeling na ang tagal mong minahal at prinotektahan sa isip mo tapos sa realidad pala hindi magiging iyo? Ganun yung naramdaman ko noon. That I’d rather have it just as a dream. Hindi naging akin pero pwede ko pangarapin. Pero yung susubukan kong tuparin tapos sesemplang ako, how do I come back from that? Heartbreaking eh. Mas malala pa sa iniwan ka ng jowa mo. 

Going back to Pastor Erwin’s preaching, naiyak ako, promise. I was trying hard to hold it back kasi nahihiya akong maging emotional sa public place pero hindi ko napigil (may two or three tears ata na pumatak). I felt Him patting me on the shoulder and telling me “Akala ko ba tag team tayo? Trust Me… ako bahala sayo.”

This dream, this photo, sobrang personal ‘to para sakin. Mabibilang ko sa mga daliri ko sa isang kamay kung ilan lang ang nakakita nito but I am posting it here now to make a meaningful declaration…

This 2016… I will make my first movie. 

On December 31, 2016, I will look back on this post at dalawa lang ang pwedeng mangyari…

1. Ngingiti ako dahil natupad siya and I am living the dream.
2. Ngingiti ako dahil hindi man siya natupad, I am still a winner because God is with me. And who knows... maybe someone will be inspired by this post at siya matupad niya yung pangarap niya. Achievement na rin, diba? :)

But for the time being, I will continue to fight for this dream and do everything I can to make it happen, no excuses. So tonight, I will have a good rest because tomorrow is my Day 1 of battle. 

Ikaw? Anong declaration mo ngayong taon? :)

To everyone who will read this, I pray that you trust in the Lord, too. Lahat ng mga pangarap mo sabihin mo sa Kanya at wag kang matakot na tuparin lahat kasama Siya kasi ano pa man ang mangyari, when you are with Him, WALA KANG TALO.

May God bless your heart :)

Carpe diem!

When You’re Not the Right One

Photo from: soorinkimmm.wordpress.com

Tom: One day you don’t want to be somebody’s girlfriend and now you’re someone’s wife.

Summer: It just happened.

Tom: That’s what I don’t understand. What just happened?

Summer: I just woke up one day and I knew.

Tom: Knew what?

Summer: What I was never sure of with you.

I have watched “500 Days of Summer” once a long time ago and have watched it the second time at 3am this morning while taking a break from work (yes, still working in the wee hours of the morning)… and this scene. Dang it. Dagger in the heart. It had me thinking once again… what happens when you’re not the right one? I couldn’t have possibly answered this way back kasi hindi ko pa naeexperience yung intensity until my last relationship happened. Gets ko si Tom. Gets na gets.

Disclaimer. I might disclose a few details about my past but I assure na no bitterness, just realizations. ;)

In retrospect, I really thought we were happy. Maybe in some way, oo. Pero ngayon when I look back, narealize ko sarili ko lang pala nakita ko that time. Ako yung masaya, siya hindi na. I thought we were okay pero hindi ko nakita that there was something wrong kasi I was too preoccupied with the thought that I was okay and that I was happy with the relationship. I admit, at some point, talagang inisip ko na yun na yun, that it was the last relationship I will be in because I made the decision to stick with it no matter what kasi yun na yung gusto ko. Ang selfish pala. Hindi ko naisip na ako lang pala may gusto. Of course, I wouldn’t say naman na hindi ako minahal because I know that there was love. Really. There was. Naramdaman ko naman at sigurado ako na minahal niya ko but it wasn’t as strong as I thought. It wasn’t enough. While there I was thinking that I have found the right one, I was dead wrong that we will end up together kasi para pala sa kanya, hindi ako yung right one. Hindi siya sigurado.

For a time, I beat myself up thinking that there was something seriously wrong with me but I realized eventually na walang mali sakin. Wala ring mali sa kanya. May mga bagay lang talagang sadyang hindi pwedeng ipilit lalo na when it comes to love.

“This is the life I ordered.”

Sabi niya. Hindi ko siya narinig ng diretso pero nakarating siya sakin. I was hurt when I learned that the life my ex apparently wanted was one without me. That it seemed as if it was a big relief na nawala ako sa buhay niya and that’s what I did. Hindi ako nagparamdam for a long time and I never bothered asking people around kung kumusta siya kasi yun yung gusto niya, a life without me. It was frickin’ painful to remember pero ngayon mas lumawak ang isip ko tuwing naaalala ko kasi narealize ko na minsan kahit masakit sayo, may mga taong dadaan sa buhay mo na kahit gaano mo pa mahalin, they can never love you back with the same sincerity and intensity but that doesn’t mean na hindi nila sinubukan. Minsan nasa pag tanggap lang na may mga bagay at tao na kahit gaano mo pa kagusto, hindi talaga para sayo. Thinking about it now, I’m thankful that it happened kasi dun ko natutunan na pag nagmamahal ka, hindi pala sapat yung nagbibigay ka lang. Na minsan kailangan mo rin makinig hindi lang sa puso mo pero pati sa puso ng taong mahal mo kasi baka sa sobrang busy mo sa pagmamahal sa kanya, hindi mo nakikita na hindi pala ikaw ang kailangan niya.

I really feel blessed na nasubukan ko magmahal at masaktan and people may say that I am brave to even believe this pero hindi ako natatakot na maulit. Your heart grows whenever you get hurt and you can only give more the next time you fall in love. When I pray, madalas ko masabi na kung hindi man dumating yung panahon na magmahal ako ulit because maybe God wants me to spend a lifetime serving Him in other ways, I don’t regret a thing kasi naranasan ko magmahal at mahalin, and boy oh booooy… napakasarap ng feeling.

Kay ex…

Thank you. I’m a better person because of you. I pray that you get the kind of love that you have always wanted. Probably one that I wasn’t able to give you, but for sure yung taong nakalaan para sayo, maibibigay yun, sobra sobra pa. ;) It has been years but I do pray for your happiness everyday. You deserve it. :)

Sa lahat ng malamig daw ang Pasko…

You deserve to be with someone who’s passionately “in love” with you. Everyone deserves that. So please… please please please… don’t ever settle for anything less even if it means spending a few more Christmases alone kasi pag dumating siya, ang masasabi mo nalang “Buti nalang naghintay ako.” :)

I’ll pray for all kinds of heart – broken, empty, hopeful, happy – today before I sleep (goodness gracious, 7am na!) May God bless your heart!

Salamat Tom at Summer sa pagpapaalala sakin na walang forever… chos! Haha! Awesome movie. One for the books! ;)

Carpe diem!

Facebook: www.facebook.com/abciddy
Instagram: abciddy
Twitter: @abciddy

Wattpad: www.wattpad.com/abciddy

Siya: Pa-fall. Ikaw: Pa-victim.

Photo from: bellejacinto.tumblr.com

Title palang aray na diba? Hmm. I heard a story of someone I know na medyo konek sa topic na ‘to so naisip ko na ding i-blog. Mahirap kimkimin. Haha!

If you ask me bakit may mga taong pa-fall, dalawang rason lang naiisip ko...

1. Ego boost

2. Ego boost

O sige… lagyan pa natin ng pangatlo…

3. Ego boost

Yun lang yun.

I don’t mean to offend anyone. Sorry sa mga matatamaan. This is just my take. Disclaimer lang, opinyon ko lang ‘to. Peace tayo!

Going back… ang pagiging pa-fall ay hindi lang naman sa lalaki dahil may mga kilala din akong mga babae na paasa. Both for men and women… yun bang sweet-sweetan, caring daw at thoughtful, minsan bumoborder na sa pagiging clingy at flirty pero once makaramdam na nahuhulog na yung isa, biglang kabig. Bakit nga ba ganun sila? Simple lang naman. They love the attention. They get something from it that perhaps fill a certain void na hindi nila makuha elsewhere. Ang sarap nga naman kasi talaga ng pakiramdam pag may nagbibigay ng atensyon sayo. Eh ang kaso, yun lang naman talaga habol… atensyon. So when they feel na medyo nagiging seryoso na, biglang back off kasi alam nila na hindi nila yun mapapanindigan.

“Wag magseryoso sa taong nakikipaglaro at wag makipaglaro sa taong nagseseryoso.”

Sa mga pa-victim…

Kung first time mo maka-experience, o ayan na teh. Learn from it. Sa susunod, mag-iingat na. Hindi dahil sweet, hindi dahil “parang” gusto ka, ibig sabihin bibigay ka na. Ang tao pag talagang gusto ka at talagang mahal ka, hindi paglalaruan ang isip at puso mo. Kung gusto ka, paninindigan ka. Hindi ka gagawing manghuhula at mas lalong hindi parang makikipagsayaw sayo ng cha-cha, urong sulong. Matuto ka bumasa ng kilos dahil ang sincerity mahirap i-fake. Tigilan yang “benefit of the doubt” at “baka naman…” A person may truly care for you gaya ng pinapakita ng pa-yummy mong ka-thing pero alamin mo din kung ano ba talaga gusto mo. If you want a decent relationship, stop participating in whatever game he/she is playing kasi hanggat alam niyang kayang kaya ka niyang hilahin pabalik, you’ll just fall in a vicious cycle. Kung minsan ka ng iniwan sa ere, stop hoping na mababago pa yun kasi sa totoo lang, yang thought na yan, diyan nadadale ang mga taong pinapaasa lang sa wala. Wag ka mag-aksaya ng oras at feelings. Kung ano ang outcome noon, trust me, ganun pa rin yan ngayon.

Sa mga pa-fall…

Ang pag-ibig ay hindi isang sport na pag gusto mong gumaling, hahanap ka ng kalarong mapagpapraktisan. Kung ayaw mo ng seryosohan, siguraduhin mong pareho kayo bago ka makipaglandian. Puso yan friend! Masaya lang yan sa umpisa pero pag nakakasakit ka na, kabahan ka sa karma. ;)

Carpe diem!

Facebook: www.facebook.com/abciddy
Instagram: abciddy
Twitter: @abciddy
Wattpad: www.wattpad.com/abciddy

Fall... Again... Or Not...

Photo from: www.pinterest.com

Hardest thing I had to endure in the past week – remembering how I once felt for someone. It was straight out confusing. Ito lang ha… hindi dahil writer ako ibig sabihin na eksperto ako sa larangan ng pag-ibig. Hindi dahil nakakapag-blog ako na para bang napakarami kong alam eh ibig sabihin na nauunawaan na ng puso ko lahat. So let me be a bit vulnerable tonight…

I know some of you have gone through something like this. Yun bang parang akala mo limot na ng puso mo pero magigising ka isang araw everything just came rushing back. Natatawa ako sa totoo lang kasi diba pag ganito dapat naiinis ka, bothered, di mapakali? I felt… weird?

One night, I decided to just lie down and remember everything. I placed my hand on my chest and tried to feel my heartbeat. When I opened my eyes, I found myself smiling. Ang sarap pala marealize na kahit nasaktan ka ng sobra ng isang tao, yung sobrang pagmamahal mo sa kanya noon was more than enough to put your heart back together. Walang bitterness. Walang regret. Nawala yung pain, ang natira yung magagandang memories dahil yun yung pinili ng puso mo na maalala.

Going back sa first sentence ng blog ko… “hardest thing”. Bakit nga ba “hardest thing”? Siguro dahil nung una hindi ko alam kung ano gagawin ko. Will I allow myself to keep feeling this way? Should I just dust it off and pretend na wala lang ‘to? And I did the best thing… I prayed. Surprisingly, I got my answer right away. (That’s how great God is.)

I don’t know if I started feeling this way dahil… naman… 2 years na kong single, may karapatan naman siguro akong mamiss how it is to fall in love.  Dun yata ako naconfuse. I needed to know if it is just “longing” that I feel o totoo na ‘to.

Minsan may mga bagay na para mas makita mo ng maayos kailangan mo lumayo so you could see the larger view. If it fits… if it is according to what your heart really wants… if it is how God wants your life to be. And that’s what I am doing now I guess. I submit this to Him and trust that I am doing the right thing. That if what I feel is real, He’ll bring us back together. By then I would know na may blessing na Niya and that He wants this for me. But if not, I know for sure that better things are coming ahead. (It feels so good that God, finally, is in control.)

Minsan may nagtanong sakin:

“Paano mo malalaman kung tama yung desisyon mo?”

Now I can answer that because that’s exactly how I feel… AT PEACE. When you find peace in your heart, you know you made the right call.

Carpe diem!

Sunday Realization - If You're a Dreamer

A friend of mine brought my book when she went to England last month. A few days back, she asked me if it's okay if she'll give it as a gift to a Filipina who works as a room keeper in the hotel she stayed at kasi gusto daw hiramin yung Project Ex. Hindi ako nakaramdam ng pagtatampo dahil may narealize ako. If it will make her happy and feel closer to home, bakit ipagdadamot? To my friend, I appreciate what you did. Really. Thank you because you made me realize something na tantya ko eh bibitbitin ko for life.

Minsan may mga bagay pala na ginagawa mo para sa Diyos at minsan para sa sarili mo na hindi mo napapansin nakakaapekto na pala sa ibang tao. I don't want people to pay so much attention on the name at the cover of my book that's why I was confused for a time kung pen name nalang ipapalagay ko o buong pangalan ko pa. Like what I always say to my readers nung hindi pa nila ako kilala, yung content at kung ano ang naramdaman nila ang mahalaga. One of my friends told me though that fulfilled dreams are your legacy and in my case, the cover of my book is like an epitaph so my real name deserves to be engraved there. Now I realize na kung may "legacy" nga akong iiwanan kahit sa kokonting tao lang, ito yun. I never really thought that it would go a long way. I'm not trying to change somebody else's world, I was just trying to change mine. Now I realized that God gave me a gift na akala ko wala lang but as it turned out, my words became other people's escape. With this, there's a sudden urge to be more diligent and more committed in what I do.

To my fellow dreamers, embrace your purpose. When you know in your heart that it is what God wants you to do, wag mong labanan. Do everything you can to nurture that gift kasi minsan akala mo para sayo lang pero ang totoo, it's way bigger than you. Use it to extend God's blessings to other people. Prove to Him that He made the right call na sayo Niya binigay 'to. Sa lahat ng ginagawa mo, simple man o hindi, give it your 100%. Sabi nga ng speaker sa isang service na napanood ko:

"You can be a straight A student without giving your 100% but being on top is not what will make God happy. Kahit hindi ikaw ang "the best", as long as you give it your all and that you do it for His purpose, you will give Him joy."

To Ms. Jie, hope you enjoyed the book. Sana kahit paano naibsan ang homesickness mo. I'll pray for you. :)

Have a blessed Sunday everyone!

Carpe diem!