Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Bakit Ka Nga Ba Na-in Love Sa Maling Tao?

I was reading private messages on my Facebook page the other day and there’s this guy who asked me:

Bakit lagi ako napupunta sa maling tao at maling pag-ibig?

My reaction: Ay… ang bigat. :p

Hindi ko alam kung paano sasagutin so it took me a few days kasi kailangan pag-isipan. I promised him that I will write something about it so… here it is.

Wow. I wish I knew the answer. Really. Kasi kung alam ko yung sagot, ang saya saya nun. We could all dodge the Brokenheart Avenue and cut the trip short to Forever Lane. But the thing is, minsan kailangan mo maranasan kung ano ang mali para malaman mo at mas maappreciate kung ano yung tama. Lucky are those people who find their true love early but I’m pretty sure hindi rin yun perfect. In their journey to finding “forever” in each other, sigurado yun na ang dami din nilang pinagdaanan. But most of us, we had to go through a series of failed relationships and love the wrong people before we finally meet the “right one”.

I assume may pinagdadaanan ka kaya mo naitanong yan sakin and I really wish I can say something to make you feel better but I guess that’s one thing na nagpapaganda ng buhay. Yung magkaron tayo ng mga experiences na kailangan i-endure so we could grow as a person and make us better.

I don’t know if this applies to other people but I will take my experience for an example. Tao lang ako, disclaimer ha. Lahat naman tayo pag nasaktan or nadisappoint, we tend to see things negatively so aaminin ko na initially, lalo na pag fresh pa yung heartbreak, feeling mo mali yung nangyari. Mali yung tao. Mali yung naramdaman mo. Mali lahat. Pero ngayon kasi when I think about all my failed relationships, walang bitterness. Hindi mo mababago yung nangyari. May mga part na mapapailing ka nalang kasi maaalala mo na nasaktan ka pala but those experiences, yun yung dahilan why I am the way I am now and I love myself now more than ever. I love all my scars because they remind me so much of how genuinely my heart can love and how far I have gone to heal. So if you are going through something painful now, embrace the feeling because it won’t last, I promise. It may take you a long time but believe me, you will love yourself more after that.

Some people who go through heartbreaking moments tend to blame everything on “love” so uunahan ko na kayo. Love does not suck. What people do with it does. May iba na tumatanggap lang, hindi nagbibigay. May iba naman na nagbibigay lang pero hindi naman pala handang tumanggap. Some people don’t know what to do with it so they ignore how they feel. May iba na inaalagaan. They make it grow. They share it. Bawat tao, bawat klase ng pagmamahal, iba iba. But I never doubted, not even for a second, that it’s real. That “true love” or “forever” or whatever people want to call it, yes my dear friend, it exists. I haven’t dated in a long time but I fall in love every single day. I find reasons to believe in it. I see it with my dog when he licks my face in the morning. I see it with my brother and his girlfriend when they laugh at each other’s corny jokes. I see it with my parents who hold hands when they watch TV. I see it with lolos and lolas who walk beside each other in malls. I felt it with my exes who I loved immensely and who I believe at some point loved me back sincerely. I see it in mothers who look at their child as if they are the most beautiful thing in the world. I see it with my friends who bug me every now and then because they miss me. And best of all, I feel it whenever I put my hands together in prayer. You see it everywhere. It may have failed you at one point in your life but that doesn’t mean na hindi yun totoo. True love exists so don’t let pain make you believe otherwise. Sometimes I wish I could let others see life and love the way I see it because despite all the awful things around us, it is so damn beautiful.

Pag nagmahal ka, magmahal ka lang. Pag binalik sayo, pag sinuklian ka ng tama, be grateful and take good care of it. Kung hindi naman, tanggapin at magpatawad dahil ang puso mo, pag busilak, pag totoo, gagawa ng paraan ang langit para ibalik yan sayo. :)

Carpe diem!

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