Siya: Pa-fall. Ikaw: Pa-victim.

Photo from: bellejacinto.tumblr.com

Title palang aray na diba? Hmm. I heard a story of someone I know na medyo konek sa topic na ‘to so naisip ko na ding i-blog. Mahirap kimkimin. Haha!

If you ask me bakit may mga taong pa-fall, dalawang rason lang naiisip ko...

1. Ego boost

2. Ego boost

O sige… lagyan pa natin ng pangatlo…

3. Ego boost

Yun lang yun.

I don’t mean to offend anyone. Sorry sa mga matatamaan. This is just my take. Disclaimer lang, opinyon ko lang ‘to. Peace tayo!

Going back… ang pagiging pa-fall ay hindi lang naman sa lalaki dahil may mga kilala din akong mga babae na paasa. Both for men and women… yun bang sweet-sweetan, caring daw at thoughtful, minsan bumoborder na sa pagiging clingy at flirty pero once makaramdam na nahuhulog na yung isa, biglang kabig. Bakit nga ba ganun sila? Simple lang naman. They love the attention. They get something from it that perhaps fill a certain void na hindi nila makuha elsewhere. Ang sarap nga naman kasi talaga ng pakiramdam pag may nagbibigay ng atensyon sayo. Eh ang kaso, yun lang naman talaga habol… atensyon. So when they feel na medyo nagiging seryoso na, biglang back off kasi alam nila na hindi nila yun mapapanindigan.

“Wag magseryoso sa taong nakikipaglaro at wag makipaglaro sa taong nagseseryoso.”

Sa mga pa-victim…

Kung first time mo maka-experience, o ayan na teh. Learn from it. Sa susunod, mag-iingat na. Hindi dahil sweet, hindi dahil “parang” gusto ka, ibig sabihin bibigay ka na. Ang tao pag talagang gusto ka at talagang mahal ka, hindi paglalaruan ang isip at puso mo. Kung gusto ka, paninindigan ka. Hindi ka gagawing manghuhula at mas lalong hindi parang makikipagsayaw sayo ng cha-cha, urong sulong. Matuto ka bumasa ng kilos dahil ang sincerity mahirap i-fake. Tigilan yang “benefit of the doubt” at “baka naman…” A person may truly care for you gaya ng pinapakita ng pa-yummy mong ka-thing pero alamin mo din kung ano ba talaga gusto mo. If you want a decent relationship, stop participating in whatever game he/she is playing kasi hanggat alam niyang kayang kaya ka niyang hilahin pabalik, you’ll just fall in a vicious cycle. Kung minsan ka ng iniwan sa ere, stop hoping na mababago pa yun kasi sa totoo lang, yang thought na yan, diyan nadadale ang mga taong pinapaasa lang sa wala. Wag ka mag-aksaya ng oras at feelings. Kung ano ang outcome noon, trust me, ganun pa rin yan ngayon.

Sa mga pa-fall…

Ang pag-ibig ay hindi isang sport na pag gusto mong gumaling, hahanap ka ng kalarong mapagpapraktisan. Kung ayaw mo ng seryosohan, siguraduhin mong pareho kayo bago ka makipaglandian. Puso yan friend! Masaya lang yan sa umpisa pero pag nakakasakit ka na, kabahan ka sa karma. ;)

Carpe diem!

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Fall... Again... Or Not...

Photo from: www.pinterest.com

Hardest thing I had to endure in the past week – remembering how I once felt for someone. It was straight out confusing. Ito lang ha… hindi dahil writer ako ibig sabihin na eksperto ako sa larangan ng pag-ibig. Hindi dahil nakakapag-blog ako na para bang napakarami kong alam eh ibig sabihin na nauunawaan na ng puso ko lahat. So let me be a bit vulnerable tonight…

I know some of you have gone through something like this. Yun bang parang akala mo limot na ng puso mo pero magigising ka isang araw everything just came rushing back. Natatawa ako sa totoo lang kasi diba pag ganito dapat naiinis ka, bothered, di mapakali? I felt… weird?

One night, I decided to just lie down and remember everything. I placed my hand on my chest and tried to feel my heartbeat. When I opened my eyes, I found myself smiling. Ang sarap pala marealize na kahit nasaktan ka ng sobra ng isang tao, yung sobrang pagmamahal mo sa kanya noon was more than enough to put your heart back together. Walang bitterness. Walang regret. Nawala yung pain, ang natira yung magagandang memories dahil yun yung pinili ng puso mo na maalala.

Going back sa first sentence ng blog ko… “hardest thing”. Bakit nga ba “hardest thing”? Siguro dahil nung una hindi ko alam kung ano gagawin ko. Will I allow myself to keep feeling this way? Should I just dust it off and pretend na wala lang ‘to? And I did the best thing… I prayed. Surprisingly, I got my answer right away. (That’s how great God is.)

I don’t know if I started feeling this way dahil… naman… 2 years na kong single, may karapatan naman siguro akong mamiss how it is to fall in love.  Dun yata ako naconfuse. I needed to know if it is just “longing” that I feel o totoo na ‘to.

Minsan may mga bagay na para mas makita mo ng maayos kailangan mo lumayo so you could see the larger view. If it fits… if it is according to what your heart really wants… if it is how God wants your life to be. And that’s what I am doing now I guess. I submit this to Him and trust that I am doing the right thing. That if what I feel is real, He’ll bring us back together. By then I would know na may blessing na Niya and that He wants this for me. But if not, I know for sure that better things are coming ahead. (It feels so good that God, finally, is in control.)

Minsan may nagtanong sakin:

“Paano mo malalaman kung tama yung desisyon mo?”

Now I can answer that because that’s exactly how I feel… AT PEACE. When you find peace in your heart, you know you made the right call.

Carpe diem!

Sunday Realization - If You're a Dreamer

A friend of mine brought my book when she went to England last month. A few days back, she asked me if it's okay if she'll give it as a gift to a Filipina who works as a room keeper in the hotel she stayed at kasi gusto daw hiramin yung Project Ex. Hindi ako nakaramdam ng pagtatampo dahil may narealize ako. If it will make her happy and feel closer to home, bakit ipagdadamot? To my friend, I appreciate what you did. Really. Thank you because you made me realize something na tantya ko eh bibitbitin ko for life.

Minsan may mga bagay pala na ginagawa mo para sa Diyos at minsan para sa sarili mo na hindi mo napapansin nakakaapekto na pala sa ibang tao. I don't want people to pay so much attention on the name at the cover of my book that's why I was confused for a time kung pen name nalang ipapalagay ko o buong pangalan ko pa. Like what I always say to my readers nung hindi pa nila ako kilala, yung content at kung ano ang naramdaman nila ang mahalaga. One of my friends told me though that fulfilled dreams are your legacy and in my case, the cover of my book is like an epitaph so my real name deserves to be engraved there. Now I realize na kung may "legacy" nga akong iiwanan kahit sa kokonting tao lang, ito yun. I never really thought that it would go a long way. I'm not trying to change somebody else's world, I was just trying to change mine. Now I realized that God gave me a gift na akala ko wala lang but as it turned out, my words became other people's escape. With this, there's a sudden urge to be more diligent and more committed in what I do.

To my fellow dreamers, embrace your purpose. When you know in your heart that it is what God wants you to do, wag mong labanan. Do everything you can to nurture that gift kasi minsan akala mo para sayo lang pero ang totoo, it's way bigger than you. Use it to extend God's blessings to other people. Prove to Him that He made the right call na sayo Niya binigay 'to. Sa lahat ng ginagawa mo, simple man o hindi, give it your 100%. Sabi nga ng speaker sa isang service na napanood ko:

"You can be a straight A student without giving your 100% but being on top is not what will make God happy. Kahit hindi ikaw ang "the best", as long as you give it your all and that you do it for His purpose, you will give Him joy."

To Ms. Jie, hope you enjoyed the book. Sana kahit paano naibsan ang homesickness mo. I'll pray for you. :)

Have a blessed Sunday everyone!

Carpe diem!