Sunday, March 5, 2017

Falling In, Falling Out

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I had a conversation with one of my readers the other day. As I was thinking of a topic to write about today, bigla ko siyang naalala. 

He asked me: How do you tell someone that you’ve fallen out of love without hurting her?

Sa part na “without hurting her”, sarap mo kutusan, N! Haha! Though nasabi ko na sa’yo ‘to pero... WALANG GANUN! :p Kahit gaano kalambing boses mo, kahit sabihin mo sa harap ng Eiffel Tower, kahit magpa-fireworks display ka habang nakikipag-split, MASAKIT YUN! Falling out of love is never romantic. Sabi nga ni James Ingram “When it falls apart, there’s no easy way to break somebody’s heart”. :p

When you fall out of love...

Honesty is the best policy, Kuya. Some people kasi naghihintay na magkamali yung isa para makahanap ng dahilan para makipaghiwalay o di kaya magpapakacold at hihintayin na yung isa yung bumigay, mali yun. Maling mali. Masakit na nga na iiwan mo, pagi-guiltyhin mo pa kahit wala naman siyang kasalanan. If there’s one thing that I value now more than ever, yun na yun, honesty. Masaktan ka man o di kaya makasakit ka ng iba, malaking bagay yung alam mo at masabi mo kung ano yung totoo.

Hindi ko alam yung feeling because in my entire relationship history parang never pa ata na ako talaga yung sumuko. I have felt that way maybe, yung parang ayaw ko na, but I always find a way how to get the feeling back kasi ang mindset ko pag nasa relationship, kung susukuan mo, walang relasyon na tatagal sayo. And in any relationship hindi naman yan laging masaya. A lasting relationship needs work, patience and the “never give up” attitude. Swerte ka kung makatagpo ka ng kapareho mo kasi in that case, for keeps na yan.

But then, may mga klase ng “falling out of love” na hindi na talaga marerevive. So kesa magsuffer kayong pareho being in a loveless and unhappy relationship, be brave enough to tell her how you feel. It will hurt you too, I’m sure of that kasi sino ba namang tao ang may gusto na makasakit di ba? But that’s the only advice I can give you. Wag ka na mamili ng timing kasi walang perfect day para makipag-break. The more na pinatatagal, the more na makakasakit ka. Just do what you have to do. The guilt of hurting someone you used to care a lot about will creep in for sure pero isipin mo na lang, mas okay na yun than lying to her everyday.

When the one you love tells you that they don’t feel the same way anymore...

I will never say na “Okay lang yan!” kasi isa yung malaking kalokohan. Hindi yan okay. Masakit yan. Hindi ko na iisa-isahin yung five stages of grief kasi para sa’kin isa lang yung significant na part dun. Yung ACCEPTANCE. It will be a painful and gruelling journey but I pray that you come out of it stronger and better. Curse him all you want, be angry and resentful, do what a normal human being who has been broken by love would do, pero stage lang yan, wag mong tambayan. That’s the sad truth about love. One day, you fall in and then you fall out of it. Two things can happen, either you find your way back and fall again (with the same person of course) or you just give up. If he chose the latter, you do whatever it takes to TRULY heal and move on (without casualties, I’m referring to rebound and all other forms of moving on na may iba kang masasaktan). Him falling out of love is not your fault and you are not in control of how he feels so never beat yourself up about it. Misplaced guilt yun. You may also want to consider too na hindi lang ikaw ang nasaktan. Siya rin panigurado. Relationships fail dahil at some point nagkulang kayong pareho. Just focus on your own healing and although it will take a lot of sleepless nights and cryfest here and there, trust me. It’s going to get better.

Like what I always say in my previous blogs, ang love at relationship ay trial and error. Out of all na makakarelasyon mo isa lang ang makakatuluyan mo. It’s a journey. You will never know who, when or how pero siguradong may inilaang tao para sayo. When you’re in a relationship, treat it as if it is the last you will ever have because that’s the moment that you will get to appreciate it for what it is. If it works, then well and good. If it doesn’t, no regrets because when it comes to love, pag naibigay mo kung ano yung dapat, wala kang pagsisisihan.

Carpe diem!

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Abciddy’s List: Top 5 Korean Movies

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I was supposed to post this 2 weeks ago but I got caught up with work. Fortunately, I was able to find time this weekend kaya ito na. Haha! I have watched a lot of Korean movies in the past years and in making this list, nahirapan ako i-rank kasi maraming magaganda. Again, just like the top 5 Korean dramas, ang basis ko is yung hangover after the movie and how the entire film affected me. I hope this list could help you in case you’re looking for something worthwhile to watch.

5. Sunny

I always come across this title everytime I search for must-see Korean movies but I never really paid attention until late last year nung naubusan na ko ng mapapanood. I wish I could have watched it sooner. Unang eksena pa lang napa-“Uy!” na ‘ko. “Uy!” in a good way. Haha! The movie is about a group of friends who hadn’t seen each other for decades at nagkahiwa-hiwalay sila because of an incident na of course, hindi ko na ikekwento para hindi ma-spoil. One of them is terminally ill and wanted all of them to get together at habang naghahanapan sila, their individual stories were told and how their friendship blossomed and faded eventually. Why you need to watch this? It will make you realize the value of friendship. It is very relatable kasi I’m sure you have those people in your past especially nung mga “nene” at “totoy” days niyo na you may have shared amazing memories with na ngayon binabalik-balikan niyo na lang. It will make you wonder about so many things especially how time passes and as life happens, there are certain people who you lose connection with at mapapaisip ka “Ano’ng nangyari?”. What I like about this movie (aside sa life lessons at soundtrack) is that nabalanse yung comedy, romance, drama, at konting action.

4. The Beauty Inside

First, it’s Han Hyo Joo. I’m a big fan of her work. She’s such a versatile actress who’s really good in choosing her projects. Siya yata girl version ni Lee Jong Suk dahil pareho silang magaling pumili ng roles. When I watch her nawawala yung artista. She becomes the character and that’s exactly what she did in The Beauty Inside. The story reminded me so much of David Levithan’s “Every Day”. A guy wakes up every day na nag-iiba siya ng itsura. He can be a woman, a man, a child, lolo, lola, basta, iba iba. Parang shape-shifter only that he's not in control. Then he fell in love with this girl and he had a hard time telling her about it. Yung conflict sa part nung female character is that she knows she’s in love but she’s struggling with the fact na hindi niya alam kung ano ba talaga itsura ng taong mahal niya at napagkakamalan pa siyang promiscuous ng pamilya at mga kaibigan niya because they see her dating different men without knowing of course na iisang tao lang yun nagiiba lang ng itsura. It was as if she’s falling in love with a different person everyday. The plot is unique in itself but what’s more amazing is that kada palit ng male lead ng itsura magugulat ka. All star cast ba naman. She kissed and cuddled the most gorgeous Korean actors to date. How lucky can this woman get?! Haha! This movie will teach you about love in its purest form and how it will make you accept someone despite their flaws, idiosyncrasies and in their case, kahit magpalit palit ka pa ng itsura.

3. My Sassy Girl

First Korean movie na napanood ko and even until now, it sticks with me. It isn’t named the highest grossing Korean comedy of all time for nothing. I have watched it twice pero sobrang tagal na nung huling beses (I think I need to rewatch it some time soon) but Jun Ji Hyun’s chemistry with her male counterparts has always amazed me. She’s one of Korea’s top actresses and Cha Tae Hyun is equally competent so it’s no wonder that this movie became a hit. The film  was heartbreaking  not just because of the female character’s back story pero pati na rin yung pag-unfold ng love story nila nung male lead. Something like it could have been better if we met in another time but it was all good pa rin kasi naging dahilan ka para gustuhin niyang magmove on. Something like that. It was open ended which for me is a really great way to make the movie linger to the viewers and yun mismo talaga naging epekto sa’kin. I was reminded of that feeling when I watched Legend of the Blue Sea. Cha Tae Hyun’s cameo role was “daebak”! Haha! Made me want to watch My Sassy Girl again.

2. Train to Busan

I fell in love with Gong Yoo in Coffee Prince, he made me fall again in Train to Busan, and yet again in Goblin. Ugh! This guy! Haha! His character in Train to Busan isn’t his usual prince charming role sa mga Kdrama but he definitely nailed his portrayal. This movie wasn’t just a hit in Korea but it was actually talked about all over the world. I watched this sa movie house mismo kaya feel na feel ko yung mga zombie. Yung term na “at the edge of my seat”, it was literal for me nung pinanood ko ‘to. Sa sobrang suspense, napapatalon pa ko sa kinauupuan ko. The suspense/horror part was nicely done pero yung story at kung papano nila nilagyan ng puso yung pelikula, that made all the difference. The effects were top notch, cameraworks and even the stunts, it was flawless for me. It wasn’t a typical zombie movie na ang intensyon lang eh takutin at gulatin ka. You’ll learn so much from the characters at mapapatanong ka, alin ka sa kanila in times of crisis. Will you help others survive o sarili mo lang iisipin mo? Also, walang tapon na eksena at walang character na useless. All of them played a vital part in the movie. Not to mention, the lead child actress was sooo good. Nakakadala.

1. A Werewolf Boy

A Werewolf Boy first came out in 2012. I don't know why it didn't reach my radar. It was recommended by a friend so I decided to give it a try. One thing I love about Korean actors is that rarely will you see a resemblance sa pag atake nila sa mga characters. I love Bo Young in Oh My Ghost and Speedy Scandal but her performance in this movie is sooo good and for me, this is by far Joong Ki's best. Buong movie hindi siya halos nagsalita pero mata palang, ni hindi nga siya umiyak, pero ako bilang nanunood his portrayal really pulled my heartstrings. The ending scene, grabe lang. Tumatak talaga. Everything in this movie was good pero yung acting talaga yung nagdala. Sobrang galing.

Runners-up! Here are some movies that I was also fond of pero hindi ko na sila ni-rank. You may want to check them out too. ;)

Miracle in Cell No. 7

A Moment to Remember

My Little Bride

Slow Video


Miss Granny

Carpe diem!

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Twitter: @abciddy