“Paano pag na inlove ka sa taong hindi naman inlove sayo?”
Naku po. Isa sa mga tanong na noon pa man hirap na hirap na
ko sagutin. Iba iba kasi ang tao eh. Pero naniniwala ako na lahat tayo, at some
point, mararanasan ‘to. May iba na hindi na hinahayaan lumalim yung feelings
nila kasi alam na nilang waley, pero may iba na sadyang hindi mapigilan kaya
ang ending… nasasaktan.
Opinyon ko lang ‘to ha? I’m not claiming to know better
about these things but this is my take.
Kung ibabase ko sa sarili kong experience, iba kasi ako.
When I start to like someone, ginegauge ko kung “crush” lang ba o may
potential. Kung crush lang, it doesn’t worry me kasi ang crush, para sa akin,
is just admiration. Most of the time pag nagkakacrush ako nawawala din agad.
Ganun yata talaga ka-iksi ang attention span ko. But when I see a potential,
proseso yan. Hindi ako basta basta bumibigay. Hindi naman dahil segurista ako o
ano pero I don’t really like wasting my time so if I see that it will just get
me nowhere, ako na nagkukusang gumawa ng paraan so my feelings would mellow. I
self-talk. A lot. I don’t know if it works on other people but it works for me.
Other options…
Option 1: Tell him how you feel.
This is a gamble, my dear friend.
Advantage: Nasabi mo feelings mo. Wala kang what if’s. Plus…
who knows, he might feel the same way about you.
Disadvantage: If the person doesn’t feel the same way,
hoooo! Medyo masakit yun. But be proud of yourself dahil aside sa nagpakatotoo
ka, you’re a warrior! Admitting your true feelings for someone is never a bad
thing. Depende lang yan sa taong gagawa, kung ano inaasahan mo, and how you
will react after. If you are friends with this person, yes, there’s a risk of
you losing him and that’s one thing that you really have to think about. Ano ba
mas importante sayo? Yung masabi mo feelings mo o ma-save yung pagkakaibigan
niyo? Whatever your decision is at kung itutuloy mo pa rin sabihin, wag mo
pagsisihan kasi as much as may down side siya, I’m sure may matututunan ka.
Option 2: Don’t tell him.
In other words, kimkimin mo nalang.
Advantage: Safe at hindi ka masasaktan.
Disadvantage: Those thoughts of “what if ganito, what if
ganyan?” meeeehn… it kills, but not literally. You can talk yourself out of it
though lalo na pag hindi pa naman sobrang lalim ng nararamdaman mo. Pero pag malalim
na……
Loving someone is like taking care of a plant. For it to grow,
you have to water it constantly. Pag hindi ninurture, tumagal man buhay niyan,
malalanta pa rin. And unrequited love? When you don’t get anything in return? Trust
me, it will die naturally kasi tao tayo. At ang tao, at some point,
mangangailangan ng pagmamahal. Yung hindi lang ikaw ang nagbibigay. Yung may
matatanggap ka din kahit papano. Wag natin isali ang unconditional love dito
kasi ginagamit yan sa ibang context. Pag mahal mo ang isang tao at hindi ka
niya mahal, hindi ko sinusuggest na maghintay ka na mahalin ka din niya one day
kasi no one deserves that. Kung totoong para kayo sa isa’t isa, dapat swak.
Kaya nga diba swerte pag mahal ka ng taong mahal mo? Kasi hindi yan laging
nangyayari. At kung dumating yung panahon na matapat ka sa taong hindi kayang
suklian yung ibibigay mo, wag ka magalit sakanya dahil sigurado ako, ayaw niya
din makasakit. (Unless nalang pa-fall yan at paasa, ibang usapan naman yun.) Wag
mo din sisihin ang sarili mo kasi nagmamahal ka lang naman. But don’t torture
yourself. I know mahirap yan that you have so much love in your heart but the
one you want to give it to is not willing to receive it pero maniwala ka,
ireserba mo lang yan kasi may darating na maibabalik sayo kung anuman ang
ibibigay mo.
Sabi nila when you love someone, you shouldn’t expect
anything in return. End of sentence. Wala namang karugtong na “…but wait for
him because maybe in time, he will love you back.” So in this situation, please…
don’t break your own heart.
Carpe diem!
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