Tuesday, October 28, 2014

All About Long Distance Relationships

Photo from indipepper.com


Sigurado ako title palang nito madami na magrereact. Some people may agree with me while others posibleng magtaas ng kilay so uunahan ko na kayo. This is only based on my experience and my own perspective which means this is subjective. 

I have been in 2 long distance relationships. None of the two worked out obviously but despite the failure, I still believe in long distance relationships... I believe in relationships, period. 

The demise of my relationships with my long distance exes had little to do with distance but more of the level of commitment. Ang long distance relationship, kahit nasa magkabilang dulo pa kayo ng mundo, nagwowork pag meron kayong common goal which is to be together in one place one day. Like what one friend of mine said, companion in life ang kailangan mo, hindi chatmate. So if you don't see yourselves being together physically in the NEAR future, trust me, it's a ticking time bomb. And for two people to withstand the distance as they achieve their shared goal, dapat pareho kayo ng level of commitment otherwise, naglalaro lang kayo. 


I can go on and on about the pros and cons pero wala akong plano magpaseminar on how to make LDRs work. I just want to share with you my insight about this bilang pinagdaanan ko na.


For people who are currently miles apart from their partners...

One word: Communication.

Namnamin mo bawat letra, iinternalize mo yung totoong kahulugan kasi yan at yan lang ang magsasalba sa relasyon niyo. Communication as in constantly talking to each other.Communication as in LISTENING to your partner.Communication as in being honest and open. Communication as in UNDERSTANDING one another even in moments that the easiest thing to do is to give in to your pride. Yes, there is a big chance that you would grow apart but if you fight just as hard as your gf / bf does, then whatever happens, in the end, wala kang pagsisisihan. If you're worried that he / she might cheat on you, that's his / her problem, not yours. Masasaktan ka lang but the burden of ruining a relationship that could have been THE relationship, that's on him / her, not on you. Do your part and let them do theirs. But don't ever forget that you also have a life here. Hindi mo kailangan maging miserable dito para masabing mahal mo siya. Na kailangan iparamdam mo na magiging masaya ka lang kung magkasama kayo physically. A matured relationship does not work that way. If the two of you are grown ups, maiintindihan niyo na may kanya kanya din kayong buhay sa mga kanya kanya niyong lugar but that doesn't mean na hindi na kayo iisa ng mundo ng gf / bf mo. That's actually where the challenge lies, kung papaano niyo ipaparamdam sa isa't isa that you're still a huge part of each other's lives kahit may kanya kanya kayong inaabala ng magkahiwalay. While you're not yet together work on making yourself and your life at its best at sana ganun din siya para pag nagsama na kayo, di niyo na gugustuhin pang maghiwalay.

Just a tip. Wag na wag mo sasabihin yung mga salitang "sanay na ako" kasi once na masanay ka sa isang bagay, unconsciously hindi ka na mageeffort na baguhin yung sitwasyon. So kung masanay ka na long distance kayo, magsisimula ka ng makuntento sa ganyan. Sa tao ka dapat nakikipagrelasyon, hindi sa computer, hindi sa cellphone. So if you really want to work that out, don't get used to the distance para mas gawan niyo ng paraan na magsama ng totoo.

About cheating, kokonti lang ang may kaya ng LDR kasi yung karamihan may need talaga for physical intimacy pero para sakin depende sa tao yan. Pag mahal mo ang isang tao, effortless maging faithful kasi automatic response yan pag may temptation. Mas madali man magloko pag di kayo magkasama but when you know that you're in love with the right person, no matter how far you are from each other mas mangingibabaw na siya ang kailangan mo kesa sa kailangan mo ng may malalanding malapit sayo.

Carpe diem!


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1 comment:

  1. True ☺☺☺ LDR? Madali lang sana, kaya naman ang distance eh. Yung commitment ang mahirap and much more ang loyalty. People nowadays tend to be so not contented kaya laging naghahanap ng iba. I just got out from an LDR, it didnt work. Maybe because I wrongly choose the partner to share a long distance relationship with. Kaya ko, sya yung hindi nakaya, nagloko. But i stil believe in LDR, u just reallt have to be careful who to choose as a partner. Makikita mo naman agad yan if mapagkakatiwalan ba partner mo. In my case kasi, I knew frm the start that yeah he might be inlove with me pero I was also sure na he cant stand resisting to temptation. But I still took the risk, love's the reason. Kaya ayun nangyari nga inaasahan ko. Nasaktan ako, pero no regrets, in t may be the toughest journey back to sanity but its the best learning experience. Ull come out stronger and very in love with urself kasi alam mo na value mo. Settle to wat u deserve. Sa nasa LDR, never ever forget urself along the relationship. U got to be ur own hero whatever happens, so wag ubusin ang sarili. Trust ur gut ☺ And also, prat for your relationship, after all there's God. ❤

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